Major Catch-Up: Previous Entries From My Journal

7/1/06 ~
This is perhaps one of the longest days of my life. I got up at 4:30 AM Central time and am now going to bed at 10:10 PM Pacific time, but it's been so much fun! Being in LA for training reminds me of being in Lions Band, except . . . better. I've had no trouble fitting in and bonding immediately with everyone I've met. The connection among the group goes much deeper than a mutual love of music. And there is no chair order here, no competition--just great love! My team is already so close thanks to the many e-mails, but also because we've asked Him to be such. Our Father has us all here for a purpose, and He hasn't left out the details. He's working it all out so that we can truly focus on what we're here for. And above the connections with fellow teachers/counselors are the students we have yet to meet! A guy named Matt spoke tonight and shared the story of a student who stopped him in his tracks with an entry in her timeline: "I began to matter." Wow. I hope that many of my students will feel the same way this summer!

7/9/06 ~
I just noticed the passage from Hebrews that I wrote in my journal last year (4:13-16). Does the Teacher really understand ALL of my weaknesses from His experience on earth? I don't want to doubt the Word, but one of my professors did mention that we should wrestle with it. This is my 2nd full day in Hong Kong. It has been amazing but also very draining, and I finally broke down in Leanne and Sandra's room. About food. Something so silly as that! Yet, when it comes down to it, this really is a serious struggle for me. So did He ever sit down to a meal, put something in his mouth, and feel like there was no way He could keep it down? That's so hard to imagine. I have yet to try the strangest foods here, and last night I couldn't even eat a club sandwich! Leanne says that I can't pick at my food when I go out to eat with my students. I don't know how NOT to pick at food! The Father knows I would love to be able to try things with little reserve, but my taste buds and stomach overpower my best intentions. Father, please help me to eat. Wow, that's such a simple request, but there is a lot of weight to it. Still, I believe that He did not call me here to starve, and He will make sure that I don't.
Mmm . . . . There are so many issues to write about regarding culture shock, etc.

• Being tired
• Not wanting to think about my struggles
• Confusion about the whole camp and teaching thing
• Wanting to talk to my parents but not being able to . . .

And there are many positive aspects to being here as well!

• Hong Kong weather is similar to Mississippi's, so I'm used to the heat and humidity.
• The landscape reminds me so much of Hawaii, and I LOVE it!!
• Daddy can be happy that I'm at a school where I can share more openly.
• Many things are cheaper here than in the U.S.
• The transportation system is familiar and easy to use.
• And Octopus cards are extremely practical!

7/10/06 ~
After writing last night, I joined my team for our daily devo time, and it was amazing! We spent silent time in the Father's presence, and I could just feel His voice and His arms surrounding me. Wow. I bawled and sniffled like a baby, but I wouldn't have traded that time for the world. For so long, I've felt so inadequate, so messed up, so unworthy of His love. But He DOES truly love ME! He told me that He knows I'm trying my best to serve Him here in spite of the culture shock and insecurities, and He appreciates my efforts. Furthermore, He wants to bless me because He is the great Gift-Giver. This may sound weird, but that's why He showed me the Swatch store yesterday. I had struggled against my joy of discovering what I'd been looking for for years--oh no, I'm storing up my treasures on earth. Oh no, I'm letting this longing come before my original goals. But He said it's His gift to me, His joy to provide me with something I want, even though it's minor compared to the great sacrifice His Son paid for me! He is my Father, and I love Him. Thank you, Father. Thank you, Son. Please enable me with Your love for the students I will meet today; please place Your words in my mouth as I share them with these beloved children who have not heard of understood before. And may the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, oh Father.

7/11/06 ~
Busy, busy. Crazy busy! Was my last entry really just yesterday morning? Wow. And I have WAY too much to say with little time to say it. Ha.... Sad that I can't say so much to my students. Or maybe not too sad. Just life. Culture differences, language barrier, fearful students, la la la. My team reminds me, however, that I'm the best-suited (of all of us) for teaching the only lower-level class. I'm learning to read my students, and they're learning to open up more, try more. I think it may be a while, at this level, before they meet me half-way, so to speak. I make such a fool of myself with my hand motions and drawings and weird faces. I wonder how crazy they think Miss Jessica is! Or stupid . . . . I have to go so SLOW. Miss Pete and Repeat (old joke). And they speak too softly for me to understand the few words they do speak English.